Decoding the Da Vinci Code Part II

So I finally saw The Da Vinci Code…and I was impressed.  Not a bad movie, at all.  Unlike Elwood, I recommend watching it.  Then again, I haven’t read the book, so I can’t say how faithful the movie is to the book.  Ah, well…

The movie (and book) are works of fiction.  I can’t really stress that enough.  If Mr. Elwood is correct, and people’s faith can be changed by a fiction-based form of entertainment (not that he said that, but he heavily implied it), then it really says something about the religion.  I think its sad that the Vatican (and other people) have to boycott a fiction movie.  People are so stupid and so weak of faith, that they would buy all the concepts of faith the movie/novel present.  Like Tom Hanks said,” We always knew there would be a segment of society that would not want this movie to be shown.  But the story we tell is loaded with all sorts of hooey and fun kind of scavenger-hunt-type nonsense.  If you are going to take any sort of movie at face value, particularly a huge-budget motion picture like this, you’d be making a very big mistake.  It’s a damn good story and a lot of fun…all it is is dialogue.  That never hurts.”

As for the movie, again, I enjoyed it.  I’d go and point out all the fiction in it but two reasons…  One, that would ruin the movie for the viewer.  Go see the movie, I feel it’s worth your time.  Two, I’d be no better than the Christians boycotting the movie.  See the movie, and point the fiction out yourself.  If you don’t know the fiction, then do some research.  Researching isn’t just for school project, y’know?

Anyway, I’ll post a review sometime this week.

Oh, and I got an Xbox 360…or I should say, my brother got one.  I’m getting Oblivion for it tomorrow.  Dismissed!

Nothing in Christianity is original.


The past three weeks have been rather eventful.  So eventful, in fact, that I haven’t said anything about my beloved video games.  Mini-Term, AP exams, banquet, scheduling, school, and upcoming controversial movies just take up time.  And to think I haven’t written a thing about E3…

For ye unenlightened, E3 is short for Electronic Entertainment Expo.  Its the world’s largest annual trade show for the video/computer game industry.  E3 is a great time for the industry to show off its latest technology, as Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo demonstrated.  Sadly, I didn’t attend, as you have to be 18 or older…and its only open to industry professionals, celebrities, and journalists.  Hmm…maybe I should take journalism next year, go to E3, and tell them I’m from a “school journalism class” and see if they let me in?  Or I could see how fast I get escorted out of Los Angeles…

Anyway, here’s my critique on the three major console players, and what they showed this past week…

Wii the People

Y’know, despite all the crap Nintendo has thrown at the wall over the years, I’ve stuck with them.  Sticking with cartridges when Sony went with CDs, being a total bitch to third-party companies, delaying Zelda: Twilight Princess, I’ve stuck with Nintendo through just about everything.

But to name your next-generation console Wii, I don’t even know if I can defend Nintendo without sounding like a complete fuckhead.  Seriously, the fact they have to explain what the name means should show how bad of a name Wii is.  I knew Revolution was only a codename, but it made a helluva lot more sense than Wii.  With Revolution, I could understand Nintendo’s direction in the next-generation.  With Wii, Nintendo had to actually make a portion of their website just to explain what the hell they were thinking.

Oh, and as for the inevitable penis jokes that many gamers are/will be making, why not rename the system dIc?

As for the revolutionary TV remote (wii-mote?) of a controller, I’ll have to try it out once the Wii comes out.  I’ve heard negative reactions generally, but that’s probably because no one has played a video game with a remote control before.  Today’s awkwardness could be tomorrow’s second nature, but I guess wii all will have to wait…

I’m still pissed at the name, even if it was announced three weeks ago.  Wii might be only a name, but Nintendo believes this is working to their advantage.  Nintendo thinks the casual non-gamer will hear “Wii” and think,” Oh, Wii…as in We the people, so the name must mean the system is for everyone.”  The people will most likely see the name and make penis jokes…sad but true.

And for the record, Xbox 360 isn’t that great of a name either.  It does, however, beat the pants off of Nintendo’s Wii.

Play$tation 3:  Expensive!

Its official, Sony’s next-gen will launch in November…and will set back all financial plans at least $500.  $600 if you want more space on the hard drive.  Personally, I wouldn’t mind memory cards but oh well.  $600 is a little much for a next-gen system that’s barely got more hard drive than the original Xbox (Xbox has 50 GB hard drive, $600 PS3 has 60 GB, and the $500 one has 20 GB).

Two things got my attention, though.  One, PS1 games are coming to the PSP through wireless download.  Now, I have a legitimate reason to get a PSP.  My other interest is Metal Gear Solid 4:  Guns of the Patriots.  Hell, I can probably speak a little bit of Japanese since I’ve watched the trailer so much.  I like how most everyone who’s played a major role in the series (and is still alive) is reappearing.  I don’t like the idea that Liquid Snake may be in control of Revolver Ocelot.  I don’t like the idea that Snake is old and his body is decaying, but I’ll live.  He could at least lose the moustache…

Oh, and I have to express gratitude to Sony for not going with that Batman-esque gadget reject of a controller.

Xbox 360:  I Am Your Source…For Destroying Your Social Life

What social life?  And yes, I just quoted the Halo 3 trailer.  I’m pleased, but just a little ticked that the Covenant rule the Earth.  The whole “the odds are against one superbeing” plot is getting really old.  I love power, but having to fight a whole fleet of Covenant with only Marine support…yeah, it’d have been nice if Earth had been smart and not put all the Spartans on one colony.

Brothers in Arms:  Hell’s Highway looks great, and is on my wishlist.  I’m just impressed how impressive the game looks graphically.  Fable 2 is equally awesome, and might be the game Peter Molyneux envisioned the first Fable to be.  The other games I’m looking forward to can be found on a PS3, but since the Xbox 360 is out now, I’m thinking more people will get the games for the 360.

That’s just one side effect of the lack of first-party games.  Microsoft has Halo, Sony has nothing good that comes to mind.  I would have said Final Fantasy is Sony-exclusive but that might change in the future.  Then you’ve got Nintendo…and they are all first-party since they are going off the beaten path with their console.  I should of this under my rant on the Wii, but one can only imagine the sheer hell developers are going to have to go through making games on the Wii…

And that’s my two cents on E3.

Community service day was yesterday.  Quote of the year:  “I don’t know if you guys are talking about girls or communism.”

And I’m probably out most of the day.  I’m over Billy’s from noon to whenever, thanks to the world cultures project.  The class is okay, but the project sucks.  In addition to that, I’ve got CFL stuff to do.  A book report is due, and I’m really sick of reading about Christian family values.  If you believe that, that’s all well and good, but reading four 300+ page books in a semester on the subject just makes me bored.  Hell, I just opened up the book and looked at a chart.  Apparently, G-d provides protection from STDs and unplanned pregnancy.  I need to get ahold of these spiritual condoms the chart speaks of…

After that, more CFL crap with the marriage project.  My simulated wife and I need to describe our simulated wedding.  Its almost silly how expensive a wedding can get…  $600 just for rings!?  Does she really need a ring to show she’s married?  I can see it all now…women everywhere need a diamond (or a band of metal at least) on their finger to remind them they are married.  Oh well.  Women come and go, but porn is forever.

I’ll probably watch Exodus or go see United 93, and review them for the EAR.  Then I get to teach myself chemistry…or read some more of The Poisonwood Bible.  Neither sounds fun…

If I haven’t said I am glad junior year is coming to an end, I am now.

I can not be beaten, I can not be like you
I can not be otherwise, no matter what you do
I am the voice of broken glass
I am the voice to drive you mad at last
I am the truth, the liar turned around

Decoding the Da Vinci Code Part I

First off, let me clarify that before this week, I did not care about The Da Vinci Code.  I originally intended to go see See No Evil.  However, I was reminded an EAR was due for world history.  The category I needed was D, which would involve watching and reviewing a movie.  Well, EARs generally involve current events.  What’s a movie that is in current events?  The Da Vinci Code!  So I got the bright idea to tell Mr. Elwood about my idea…

He wasn’t too thrilled, mainly because he doesn’t endorse the movie.  This is because of the false claims the movie/novel makes.  These claims include the Holy Grail not being a chalice, but Mary Magdeline.  She carried the bloodline of Jesus, the bloodline that would become the Merovingian dynasty of French kings.  As stated before, these claims are pure fiction.  Matter of fact, a little research can dispel these theories.  That hasn’t stopped them from appearing, however.

Now Elwood didn’t endorse the movie because it would skewer a person’s perspective on Christianity.  So I got to thinking…

…If a person’s opinion on a religion can be changed watching a two hour movie based on fiction…that’s really sad.  See, if the majority of Americans are Christians, then chances are the majority of the movie-going public is Christian too.  If the average American Christian can have their view on their beliefs changed, it really says a lot about faith today.

It is as if the majority of American Christians are just “Sunday Christians”.  I shouldn’t really have to explain what a Sunday Christian is.  We all know at least one.  Anyway, Sunday Christians are people who will attend Church on Sundays, but don’t necessarily act Christian outside of Sunday morning.  Even with that said, what people constitute as “Christian” varies wildly, thanks to denominations.

Anyway, another thing I was wondering about was if all the Christian protests will end up backfiring.  Personally, Elwood’s comments only evoked my curiosity.  If his opinion got me interested in the movie, I can only wonder how some people are acting with the Vatican labeling everything in the book is blasphemous.  To the average American, would it look like the Church is hiding something?  In short, the way the Church is protesting the movie, does it appear that the Church is hiding a dark secret?  People would go see the movie just because the Church doesn’t want them to see it.

Still, I can see where Elwood is coming from (ask him for his full opinion, since I didn’t cover it all here). If he doesn’t want to support the movie, that’s fine.  As long as he doesn’t condemn me for watching the movie, we’ll be okay.

I’ve written more, but I’ll save the rest for when I go see the movie.

Deliver us to evil
Deny us of our faith

Fried Brains

Brought to you by the AP world history exam!

Step 1:  Prepare the brain!
In order to enjoy the stewed brain at its finest, one must first prepare the brain.  Preparation begins with going over repetitive directions for at least half an hour.  This prepares the brain for seasoning and step 2.

Step 2:  Fry the brain!
Break the brain into strips (like bacon!) and have them sizzled on a “70 question multiple-choice” pan for 55 minutes.  Remember to turn the strips over every now and then, so that one side is burnt and the other isn’t.

Step 3:  Barbeque the brain!
When the brain strips turn brown, get them out of the pan and allow the strips to cool off for five minutes.  Then place the strips on a DBQ-sponsored grill.  Only DBQ-sponsored grills can be used for the fried brains recipe.  Any other grill will have the brains burnt.

Anyway, place the brain strips on the grill as it heats up.  DBQ grills take ten-fifteen minutes to heat up so be patient.  Anyway, once the grill heats up, so does the cooking.  The brains often catch fire here, so have a fire extinguisher handy.  Don’t worry about brains being obliterated because…

Step 4:  Add water!
Not just any water, though.  I’m talking “change over time essay” water.  Just douse the brains in this special water and allow them to sit for 40 minutes until the brains reach a nice, brownish complexion.  Now, the brains are ready to eat!  Feel free to add salt or serve the brains with any appetizers.

Mmm…delicious.  Bon appetit, kids!

All not-so-hilarious things aside, it wasn’t that bad.  I could go in depth about it, but I went in not caring, and I came out not caring.  And that’s all I got to say about that.

Good cookin’, that’s Chef Boyardee!