I’ve been reconciling with something the past few weeks and it’s come to a point recently that it’s just annoying.  I recently voted against a guy because of who he was associated with.  Terrorists, racists, thugs and the sort.  Then I took a step back and looked at who I was associated with.  Certainly not terrorists, racists, thugs or the like…but there were a few people who I wondered “why the hell am I friends with them?”

There are a few reasons for this.  I disagree with them on important issues (politics being the kicker), I find them to be more annoying than anything else, I feel they are hypocrites concerning religion…but the real issue is that they say they are friends, but they don’t ever act like it.  I don’t talk to these people enough to justify a friendship.  Leaving high school is one excuse, but the age of instant communication makes that excuse lame.  It’s odd that I get nudged into getting a Facebook, but after almost two years of using it, there are months where no one will say anything.

Even here, with a static dynasty, I’ve actually had to delete some subscribers because they never bothered to comment or, at least, show me that they’re reading.  I’m in the camp of “not reading = not caring”.  So what if I’m not writing anything interesting?  I thought I was a “great writer”.  Shouldn’t a great writer be able to make the dull a little more exciting?  And that’s no excuse to not drop by and say “hey, how are you?”

I can forgive some people because they are out of state or I’ve met them over the Internet but most people who proclaim to be “my friend” are easily within driving distance.  At the very least, they could pick up a phone and make a call.  Oh wait.  Maybe they no longer have my number, despite the fact its never changed.  I called a girl yesterday to ask if she had taken a class.  Said girl had my number a year ago and used it to get a hold of me.  A year later, she no longer had my number.  In fact, she sent a message after calling her that started off by saying,” Now that I have your number…”  Well, if you were just going to forget about it or delete it from your phonebook, why did I give it to you in the first place?

I guess I’m just feeling neglected, which does not mix well with my already cynical personality.  I’m already living on my own now.  If I’m not going to hear from my so-called friends, why should I stop expecting to?  Maybe I should make like post-World War I America and just retreat into isolation.  I wonder how long it would take my friends to notice?

Perhaps it’s something else entirely that I’m missing.  Perhaps I have impossible standards of friendship that I’m holding people too and should consider revising them…or maybe I’m just delusional.  Who knows…and who cares, right?

Slipping away, just a heartbeat from disaster
Nothing could make me stay, close your eyes and I’ll be gone
Turn the page, yeah, time to start another story
Slipping away, slipping away, time to move along

One thought on “Neglected


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