Criminal Comebacks

It is not the greatest of games, but The Punisher had its moments.  Not a game to go back to repeatedly but the interrogation method was a neat concept.  Usually, criminals give you information.  Most of it is worthless but some of it is necessary to advance the plot.  Occasionally, an enemy will say something that isn’t too relevant.  Something like pleading for their life.  Of course, as a witty comic book character, The Punisher always has an appropriate comeback for these cries.  Most of these are uttered when Frank kills the son of a bitch, but sometimes, there’s a cooler response when scum is allowed to live.  Some of the best are posted.

Criminal:  “I’ll go straight, I promise!”
Punisher:  “Bones, promises, both break.”

Criminal:  “I just got married!”
Punisher:  “Honeymoon’s over.”

Criminal:  “I just wanna go home!”
Punisher:  “In a box.”

Criminal:  “I’ve got kids!”
Punisher:  “So did I.”  If you let him/her live, he’ll respond with the more intimidating, “If I see you again, they’ll be orphans.”

Criminal:  “Have mercy!”
Punisher:  “Death is a mercy.”

Criminal:  “I’m dying!”
Punisher:  “Not anymore.”

Criminal:  “I’m innocent!”
Punisher:  “So were they.”  If you let them live, you’ll hear,” Stay that way.”

Criminal:  “I have a family!”
Punisher:  “Everybody does.”  If they are allowed to live, “Then go back to them.”

Criminal:  I’m gonna be a dad!
Punisher:  “No, you’re not.”  If they live, “Be a good one.”

Criminal:  “I’m not ready for a coffin.”
Punisher:  “It’s ready for you.”

Criminal:  “It’s my birthday!”
Punisher:  “Last one.”


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