Super Smash Bros. Brawl for All II

I’m thinking of posting these once every other week.

Thanks to Super Smash Bros., Nintendo fans have had the privilege to see their favorite characters fight each other.  Questions like “who’s the better Nintendo couple, Mario/Peach or Link/Zelda” have been answered, thanks to this game.

Our upcoming match-up comes from this Independent article.  It’s over a year old, but I doubt sales figures have drastically changed since then.  There are five series that have Brawl characters on that list; Mario, Pokémon, Donkey Kong, Legend of Zelda and Sonic.  Four of those series are Nintendo franchises.  So, the question for this fight is, which is the better Nintendo franchise?  Mario, the most popular and best-selling of them all?  Pokémon, a franchise that single-handedly revived the Game Boy and sparked one of the most annoying fads in recent history?  The Legend of Zelda, a franchise that constantly spawns great games?  Or is it Donkey Kong, which…well, you know, I tried to be objective here but I can’t figure out how Donkey Kong is on that list.  But he sells, for reasons unknown to me but whatever, so he may as well be in the fight!

Rules are different from the last match-up, but still simple.  Four player free-for-all with all fighters being level 9 CPUs.  All matches are stock-based, with each fighter getting three lives each.  The first fighter to get three victories wins.  All items appear normally.

Match 1:  Battlefield.  Link eliminates Donkey Kong with a fully-charged Super Scope shot before being eliminated by Mario.  Mario almost eliminates the mouse but is eliminated by his own carelessness (he never bothers to pick up a Bob-omb…that ends up going off right behind him).

Match 2:  Pokémon Stadium II.  Pikachu’s victory allows the Pokémon to select the next stage.  Mario is taken out early with back-to-back KOs.  He got KO’d by a Snorlax, then Donkey Kong hits him with a Dragoon as soon as he respawns.  The final two are Link and Pikachu, with the mouse being too quick for the Hero of Time.

Match 3:  Pokémon Stadium II.  Pikachu sweeps the competition here.  Donkey Kong and Pikachu are the final two and start off at 0% damage each.  Pikachu completely pwns the crap out of DK.  The ape doesn’t even touch the mouse, except for the two final smashes that still don’t knock Pikachu out.  Pikachu toys with DK before ending the match with a thunderbolt.

Winner:  Pikachu (!?)

Final Stats (KOs/Falls)
Pikachu +6 (+12/-6)
Mario +0 (+9/-9)
Donkey Kong -3 (+6/-9) / Link -3 (+6/-9)

Well, that was…abrupt.  I simulated some further matches because I was unhappy with these results.  Maybe I’ll post them later.

I’m not mad.  A little angry, maybe…


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