Dumbass of the Year Part 1

People are, generally, stupid.  So here’s a list that singles out the ten dumbest people of the year.  Humans aren’t supposed to be judgmental, but I don’t consider myself as such.  Matter of fact, I think I’m providing people awareness.  This is a good list of people to avoid, so think of it as “stupid control.”  Also, because the sheer amount of stupid people on the Earth today, it was a real chore narrowing them down to just ten

10.  50 Cent

Any man who markets his life story consecutive times warrants a nomination.

When 50 Cent came out with album Get Rich or Die Tryin’ back in 2003, I
didn’t really care for rap.  Hell, I still don’t.  I didn’t
have a problem with him marketing his matieral though.  What got
me was what he’s done this year.  He’s released both a movie and a
game based on his life story.

Curtis Jackson, your rise to fame really is a great story.  Of
course, like most stories, its only the greatest the first time you
hear it.  Afterwards, its redundant.  That’s one of the
reasons Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and 50 Cent: Bulletproof sucked.
We know the plot so well that there is no suspense.

50 Cent would be higher, but I blame his fans more.  After all,
they are the ones buying into his marketing.  If he didn’t have
customers buying the same thing over and over again, maybe he’d make
some original matieral.

9.  Bo Bice

Hoping to be an American Idol, eh Bo?  Well you ended up being an American Loser!

Bo Bice was the “rocker” on American Idol earlier this year.  He
rocked so much, he lost to Carrie Underwood.  He was happy about
that, according to an article in the Rolling Stones published back in June.  He said he didn’t want to win because it would tarnish his “southern rock” reputation.

First off, dumbass, you weren’t a “rocker” to begin with.  American Idol is a show based on finding the next big pop
act.  By being on Idol in the first place, you automatically
forfeit your “rocker” status.  The reason why he was on
Idol?  “To be myself.”  Bullshit.  He meant “To be a tool for my band.”

What is so great about American Idol
anyway?  The runner-up can get the same benefits as the
winner.  And why do people need three judges telling them if they
can sing or not?  I could care less if the ambiguously gay Simon
Cowell said I could or could not sing.  If I wanted to be a pop
artist (?), I’d get a record deal.  I’d go to some label with
material I’ve recorded and see if they wanted to hire me or not.
I don’t need three “judges” telling me I can or can’t sing.  If I
have enough money, I can go out and get a record deal.

Also, here’s how you can predict the next American Idol!  Its
whoever has the biggest tits.  Think about it…  Justin vs.
Kelly, Underwood vs. Bice, Fantasia vs. DeGarmo, Studdard vs. Aiken.

Anyway, Bice is 9th because while he is a dumbass tool, he lost and
he’s faded from the scene since.  Mainly because he broke his
leg.  Kind of hard to be a pop dancer when you break your leg,

8.  Sharon Osbourne

Sharon Osbourne is the only
person on the list that I really don’t hate.  Sharon is actually
quite nice, but there was just one event that puts her on the list…

There are many reasons why Sharon would have been on these lists if I
had made them a few years ago.  She re-dubbed some of Ozzy’s best
material because she didn’t want to give band members royalties.
She created that horrid reality show.  Then there’s the San
Bernindo Ozzfest events.

Sharon orchestrated the egging of Iron Maiden during their last set on
the Ozzfest tour (Velvet Revolver would replace them later).
Maiden had to put up with a lot of shit during their set (PA randomly
cut out, some jackass ran around with the American flag during The
Trooper, the band was egged at relatively point-blank range, etc.),
but they did play through the whole ordeal.  Then Sharon comes out
and calls Bruce “a prick.”

There are many problems with this event.  First off, she claims
that everyone in Iron Maiden except Bruce are gentlemen.  Then why
did your daughter egg them?  Sure, you can miss Bruce but when I
was at Ozzfest, Bruce was a good distance away from Steve Harris,
Janick Gers, Nicko McBrian, and the other members of Iron Maiden.

Also, the whole deal with the American flag during The Trooper pissed
me off.  Sharon claimed it was offensive because “Bruce was
forgetting about American soldiers fighting in Iraq.”  The Trooper
is about a British battle, dumbass.  Its customary that Bruce gets
a Union Jack and waves it around during the song.  He’s not
forgetting about American soldiers, he’s doing what he’s always done.

There are other things but Sharon Osbourne is now a has-been.  The Osbournes is over, her talk show has been canceled, and her husband has retired from singing.

7.  Anna Ayala

For the media-uneducated, Anna Ayala is the woman who allegedly found an amputated finger in her Wendy’s chili.

First off, this woman had a history of trying to sue companies for
money.  That’s strike one.  Second off, the finger had been
identified that it didn’t belong to either a Wendy’s employee, or
anyone who provided the chili.  Also, keep in mind that Wendy’s
chili is cooked at 170 degrees for three hours.  I highly doubt
you’d be able to find a human finger after it had been cooked for three
hours (or at least, it would have been burned a great deal).
Sure, someone could put a finger in the chili after the chili was
cooked (as a joke, maybe?) but this finger had already been identified
as not belonging to any employee.  Strike two!

Lastly, the finger was identified.  Some coworker lost his finger
in an accident, then bet it off to his fellow coworker:  Anna’s
husband.  Strike three, she’s guilty of fraud.

What’s sad is since she pleaded guilty, she’ll get a lighter
sentence.  Once she’s done her time, she’ll go out and sue more
companies.  Maybe she’ll learn?  I doubt it.

And who the hell goes to Wendy’s for just the chili?  Chicken nuggets and frosties own the chili!

6.  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the President of Iran.  He’s the guy who
said Israel should be wiped off the face of the map.  He also
denied the existence of the Holocaust.

I shouldn’t even have to comment on this.  The man’s just pissy
(like most other Arabs) that the Jews actually have a homeland
now.  I could go on a tirade about this man, but I’d only make it
worse.  After all, I think the sole reason he’s saying these
comments is to provoke the United States into a war.  Of course,
with his comments, he’d get every nation in the west to declare war on
him (or support the U.S. should they declare war).  Personally, I
don’t want another war.  Hell, we’re still fighting in Iraq.
Worse come to worse, though, and we’d have a lot of support against
this bastard.  Israel in particular…

Its not wise to piss off Israel.  Israel has probably the most
kickass military on the face of the Earth.  When you turn 18, you
are required to serve in the
military for three years.  If a country was to declare war on
Israel and invade the country, everyone there 18 or over could
fight.  So Ahmadinejad isn’t too smart when he says,” Israel
should be wiped off the face of the map” or “Israel should be relocated
to Europe.”  He’s just worsening the already tense situation
between Israelis and Palestinians.

We’ll see what unfolds in 2006, but for now, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the 6th Dumbass of the Year.

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